Overcoming Resistance to Change
I was chatting with a colleague yesterday about what prompts clients to get in touch. We talked about the usual things; having a good website, blogging, referrals from clients, advertising and so on. Somehow these things didn’t seem enough for overcoming resistance to change.
I kept thinking back to a particular client. Back to what had prompted him to take the plunge and seek help.
It wasn’t his stress levels at work. Or the presentations that piled more pressure on him. Or his lost sleep from the worry of the effect on his family, not to mention his health.
It wasn’t that he hadn’t been to the gym for months or the 10 cups of coffee he drank to keep himself alert.
It wasn’t his concern that the best part of a bottle of wine disappeared most evenings. It wasn’t his expanding waistline as more chocolate bars and crisps got added to his infrequent meals.
It wasn’t the ongoing pressures and responsibility of senior management. He viewed all that as the acceptable price for the opportunity to have a position of influence and of course, to earn the salary he wanted for his family.
No. It wasn’t any of those. Bad though they were.
So what was it?
It was a best man’s speech, just 2 months away. A one-off event in front of family and friends. Even though it would all be over in just 8 weeks’ time. This, it seems, was his last straw and all he wanted was to get through it unscathed.
By the time we’d finished, he’d transformed his life…
Everything that made that best man’s speech so difficult were the very same things that made it so hard to deal with the stresses of his career. Not only did he speak better than he could’ve imagined, he’s now thoroughly enjoying the challenge of work once more, welcoming meetings, presentations and speeches alike. His family life’s blossomed. He’s now the happiest he’s been for years.
As he said when we parted after 3 months: “I wish I’d done this years ago!”
So why didn’t he do this years ago? Why do clients wait until something unbearable turns up?
This is why.
By the time a client seeks me out, they’ve been through years of steadily increasing stress and responsibility. Even when speaking up in front of others triggers major anxieties it still isn’t enough.
There’s logic to this resistance to change. We’re biased to want certainty & avoid uncertainty. Change for change’s sake is a risk and we don’t like unnecessary risk. Remember Cognitive Biases? One of those.
These 3 things MUST be in place when overcoming resistance to change:
You’ve got to feel dissatisfied enough. If you’re not dissatisfied enough, you won’t act.
You need to see/feel/hear that better future. The better you see it, the more pull it has.
3) First Steps:
You need a first step. An action that starts the journey to that vision.
When the combination of these 3 things is big enough, overcoming resistance to change becomes easy.
Most people don’t know what those First Steps are.
Most people don’t have a Vision. They don’t understand the real impact of working with me.
That leaves Dissatisfaction to do the job alone. So Dissatisfaction waits until it gets really bad. Until there’s a big scary event on the horizon.
I don’t want you to have to wait until then. I’d like you to have more options than that.
Think about this.
Wouldn’t it be better if you didn’t have to wait for that big scary event. You know the one. A wedding speech, a hugely important client presentation, a national or international sale conference, being promoted to the board or senior management or perhaps reaching a certain level in your career.
That’s why I’m writing about these ideas, tips & techniques.
You see, either they’ll reduce your dissatisfaction to a realistic level and you can happily carry on as you are…
Or you’ll start to see what life could be like without the anxieties and stresses that surge around public speaking.
You’ll have a Vision of your future.
You’ll know what your First Steps could be.
This way, you won’t have to leave it all to ‘Dissatisfaction’.
‘Vision’ and ‘First Steps’ can get in on the act too.
It’ll make your decision process so much easier. It’ll give you choice.
Choice to act when you’re ready to act.
I wonder how soon that might be?
If you want help putting this into practice, book your private call with me here: